Sunday, March 2, 2008

I Can' Wait To Get Off Work (To See My Baby)

Second final shift this evening. By that I mean it was the second time I've finished up with the bank. Last time was in March 1998. Ten years ago. Shit.

That time I took my uniforms and a jerry can down to the Jabiru dump. Had myself a little symbolic funeral pyre. Today I just left.

Guess most people would feel that your life hasn't really gone to plan if you're working at a call centre in your mid-thirties. Can't say I'd argue with them. Can't say there was ever much of a plan. Tomorrow though, I start learning to be a teacher. A little slow out of the blocks sure, but I'm moving fast in a straight line now.

Said a whole heap of goodbyes to people over the last few days. Like to add a few more now.

Goodbye to the two freaky Flowers in the Attic girls who arrived together, left together, huddled together and whom I never witnessed converse with another soul.

Goodbye to the tall strawberry blonde girl who I often encountered at Uni and work and would always work very hard at staring into the middle distance while I tried to make eye-contact. You never once acknowledged my existence. I salute you and your determination.

Goodbye to the greasy-headed rum-scented loner who never once removed his coat.

Goodbye to the big headed guy that I worked with as a removalist. I've just worked out where I knew you from.

Goodbye to the guy in the wheelchair who always arrived at the same time as me, causing me to pretend to fumble with my non-existent bike lock till you had swiped through the security doors. I was so afraid that I'd just blurt out 'wheelchair' should I be forced to wait behind or in front of you. So hard was I repeating, he's just the same as everyone else, to myself. I'm sorry I'm such an arse.

And a final goodbye to Kelly. I doubt you remember me, we've never spoken, but I was several years above you at school. I can't begin to imagine the hell that was your school life. I just recall the pack of kids that would surround you like hyenas. Laughing, teasing, taunting. That you are a functioning member of society, with all the disadvantage you had in life, is a testament to you. That you appear to be functioning at about the same level as me, with all the advantage I've had in life... well I'm just not going to board that train of thought.

When I'm freaking out in five weeks time I'm going to re-visit how goddamn good I feel right now.



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