Children of the Damned Corn

We've had the Noodle's name down at various child care centres for eons. Building the time machine was tricky, but you do what you can.
We are looking at a three month period, from when I start uni until Knickers starts maternity leave where we'll have to have him in care at least one day a week.
Today we had an appointment with Last Chance Child Care (sure we can cram another one in). While Knickers went through the paper work I took the Noodle into the play area for the over 2's.

I sat on a bench and observed while he climbed on the castle / jungle gym thingy. A couple of uber blonde toddlers came up to me and distracted me with their hula-hoop skills (Which were, I'm sorry, pretty average. Well they were!) while their leader ran at me from behind with a pair of scissors. Stab, she stabbed.
'Oh, hi there. Um, should you be running with scissors?' (WTF did you get scissors from?)
'Me hairdresser.' Stab.
A handler came running over to remove the weapon and was in the process of returning it when she noticed the side had fallen off the castle and a small horde of kids were trying to fling themselves from a, relatively, great height.
I'm pretty sure she moaned 'not again', before running off to deal with it.
Meanwhile three. relatively, big boys had pinned the Noodle in a corner and were trying to remove his clothes.

Knickers is deeply traumatised, I think the Noodle will be okay.

My advice to prospective parents is this:

• Orgasm
• Put on your pants
• Get out of the car
• Run across the car park
• Hand your application to the manager as they're trying to unlock the front door.