Things That Scare The Noodle

1. Planes and helicopters
   
2. Sleeping without Oof
   
3. Strange men
   
4. Stories involving wolves
5. Readings of 'Where The Wild Things Are' utilising scary voice (since banned by Knickers)
   
6. The Ocean
7. His dad impersonating someone sleeping
   
8. Waking in the midst of night
9. Sausages
10. Trucks
    

Things That Scare His Father

1. Slipping in the bathroom and breaking my neck
2. The manic energy of recently divorced women
3. Setting mouse traps
4. That little post-toilet stain on the front of your shorts indicating a couple more shakes may have been prudent
5. Dieing before getting the chance to punch Doctor Phil in his smug face
6. Turning on light switches with wet fingers
7. Crocodiles
8. The dream in which all my teeth fall out
9. Saying 'Candyman' in front of a mirror
10. That death is really the end