Why I Need A Rewind / Delete Button

A few ladies of our acquaintance recently had dinner at a pub and were later complaining about the appalling service they received from the bar tender. Forgetting a lifetime of pain and work with the stop, think, speak principle I blurted out, 'It's because you're getting old. You've become invisible to younger men.'

One day I'll learn.

At the movies with Knickers the other day and one of the previews showed a couple doing the wild thing in the back of a car.
I leaned over to my heavily pregnant wife and leeringly whispered, 'you know, we've never done it in a car.'
She considered this, her eyes lost focused, time passed. She did all but count on her fingers and toes.
'No. You're right, I don't think we have.' she finally answered.*
'Jesus Christ how many...never mind, I don't want to know.'

* Knickers has approved publication of this post but would like it noted that it is not in line with her recollection of events.