Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Schooling Noodle

Now that Pudden is getting on a bit - sitting up, grabbing things, cutting teeth and starting to have opinions about stuff - the Noodle is starting to get a wee bit jealous and has taken to body slamming Pudden on a semi regular basis.

Knickers and I have had long discussions on the relative merits of lashing Noodle to the Hill's Hoist for a night or simply slamming him back ourselves as effective measures of behaviour management, but would hate to have to dob each other in as we are now both mandated notifiers.

Instead we are forced to use the less effective tools of reason and time out:

Noodle: SLAM!

Pudden: WAH!

Myninjacockle: Did you just knock Pudden over?

N: I want to have a swing.

M: Look, I know you knocked your brother over, I saw you.

N: Please Daddy.

M: That was very naughty.


M: No, you're not a naughty boy, but that was a naughty thing to do. ('Cause the literature says you address the behaviour, not the child. Stupid literature)



P: WAH, WAH for Christ's sake I could have a brain hemorrhage would someone please pay me some bloody attention WAH!

M: (picking up P) Now you have to go to time out and think about what you've done.

N: Don't want to go to time out.

M: Well you shouldn't have knocked Pudden over then should have you. Now you say sorry.

N: (sweetly)Sorry Pudden.

M: Now sit on the time out step.


M: Get on the step by the time I count three. This is your last chance, ONE...TWO...

(N takes off, M places P on ground and begins pursuit, brief struggle ensues.)

M: (dragging screaming N back to laundry and attempting to deposit him on the step)SIT ON THE BLOODY STEP.

N: (making like ironing board) DON'T WANT TIME OUT.

M: Fine, lie there then (attempts to close laundry door, N leaps up and grabs door)

M: (attempting to regain tone of reason)Now we don't play with doors do we?


M: (forgets stupid fucking literature and pushes N off door with foot, closes door.)Now you think about being nice to your little brother.

N: (sounds like pack a of rabid pitbulls destroying everything in laundry) AARRGGHH!

M: (picks up P, makes cup of tea, pitbulls eventually leave, opens laundry door) Now I want you to look at me.

N: (not looking)I want a biscuit please.

M: No, look at me and say 'I won't knock Pudden over again Daddy'.

N: (still not looking) I want swing please Daddy.

M: (Broken) Fine, we'll play on the swing.



At March 18, 2009 at 7:33 AM , Blogger Kath Lockett said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for laughing, Myninj.... Forget the stupid literature and do whatever you think.

Personally, I think that you two 'mandated notifiers' could get away with shoving him back. Something like, "This is what it feels like and I'm going to get to the swing first and you're not going to have a swing today," or somesuch.

My brother and wife have two boys with exactly the same problems a few years ago (they both survived and are now 6 and 8 - the boys I mean, not the grown ups). They ended up disposing of the 'address the behaviour not the kid' and naughty corner because it was clear that the approach wasn't working. Dare I paraphrase it but boys are rough boofheads and sometimes need a bit of that thrown back at them. (winces) in a politically-correct manner of course.

Best of luck dealing with THAT quandary!

Word verificiation - Whogie. Hey, why not threaten him with a visit from Mr Whogie if he doesn't take better care of Pudden?

At March 18, 2009 at 11:17 PM , Blogger myninjacockle said...

Thats okay Kath, we laugh too - through the tears.

We constantly agree that smacking is probably not a great technique (though I don't believe it should be illegal if carries out in a controlled manner) but on occassions it is very, very tempting.

and thank you so much for ordering a copy of the book. You rock.

At March 19, 2009 at 10:55 AM , Blogger squib said...

lol A number of times I've found myself telling mr.squib, 'No, you don't say they're naughty, you say what they've done is naughty.' I'm pretty annoying like that :)


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